Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Online dating ... again ... just because

Well, well, well, well well well. Here we go again.

Yes, after a long hiatus, I have re-entered the online "dating" world. Why, you ask? Was it the wonderful experiences I had last time? The very polite, not at all horny men who contacted me? The realization that, since I basically never leave my house after 5 p.m., this is probably the best way not only to meet men but to actually interact with other humans? The re-emergence of a desire to get married that I used to have but that got tamped down when I discovered how much easier traveling is without having to get two seats next to each other? The knowledge that there is opposition in all things, and in order to more fully enjoy the times when I am not doing online dating I must occasionally do online dating? The fact that I can't remember the last time I went on a date, which is probably a little unhealthy, even though hanging out with my dog and going to bed early actually sounds like a great evening?

Nah. I just did. Thought I'd mix things up a little bit.

It's been an enlightening four days. Let me share with you what I've learned.


  • When I deleted my account all those years ago, it didn't actually delete, because when I tried to set up a new account with the same email it was already taken. By 2011 me. I do not like this. When I inevitably get frustrated and cancel this account, I may have to actually use my phone to make a phone call and demand the whole thing goes away. Deactivation does not deletion make.
  • There are fewer available men in Lubbock than I have toes. The website chooses four "quick picks" every day of men who meet very stringent requirements of sort of close in age and sort of close to Lubbock. The same four men have been on my page since Sunday. (To be fair, this is an LDS website; I'm assuming if I broadened it to all men in my general age and locale who are of the single persuasion I would have to include my fingers and toes for the count.)
  • To further drive this point home, yesterday I checked the men who were online at that moment. It brought up a list, with the closest person first. The first six people were in Texas -- the entirety of second-largest state in the nation. The seventh was from Arkansas. It only took to page two to get to men who lived in Provo. That is not close. If this were not already a lost cause, it would sure be one now.
  • I am much more attractive in Europe. I already sort of knew that, because a lot more men approach me over there than over, but I think a big part of that is over there, I have the accent, and most of the time I am hopelessly lost and somebody takes pity on me. But, some guy from Sweden cyber-smiled at me, so clearly it's not just those things. (It's entirely possible he didn't look closely enough saw only the picture of me in front of the Eiffel Tower and didn't realize I'm 8,000 miles away.)
Ugh, I'm already exhausted. 

Also, LDS folks (and non-LDS, if you're so inclined), if you want a great, not at all lighthearted, sort of depressing but sort of encouraging read: Sexuality and Singledom --  Navigating with Clarity and Integrity. It will make you think.

1 comment:

  1. You are a braver soul than I. I quit in November, and it would take angelic visitations to get me back to online dating. I did spend one year not worrying about the LDS element, and I went on more dates than when I limited myself to LDS guys. But, I also don't live in a high-concentration LDS area. The last time I was on an LDS site, the closest guy I was interested in was 3 hours away in South Dakota.

    And that talk by Finlayson-Fife was so good. We need more of that. Good luck with your re-entry to the online dating life!

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