I went out with the missionaries yesterday. We were teaching lesson three to a single woman who went to church last week. Lesson three, if you don't still have Preach My Gospel memorized, is "The Gospel of Jesus Christ:" faith, repentance, baptism, gift of the Holy Ghost and endure to the end.
The lesson went well. I even remembered most of the steps of repentance (I forgot forgiving yourself. It's a good one) and everything was going well. Then they started teaching the law of chastity. Then they asked me about my testimony of the law of chastity AKA thoughts from a 32-year-old virgin.
Don't get me wrong, I have plenty of thoughts on the subject. This is just something I would have preferred to think about it beforehand so my thoughts on the matter were worded a little better than repeating "waiting to have sex means denying your normal human instincts, much like eating" and "It teaches you patience" while wishing I still had the same gift I had as a missionary that allowed me to non-awkwardly discuss sex with literally anyone and willing myself to stop sounding like such an idiot.
The soundtrack to this part of the blog, FYI, is an episode of "Scrubs" in which Carla, Turk and Elliott discuss orgasms. Seems appropriate.
Fortunately, that was not my entire weekend. I also had my own singles party -- six women, eight pies, my pies won (not that it matters -- or that it was a competition -- but if you're reading this blog you know I'm a showoff, so ...) and I inexplicably ran out of both flour and sugar in the process. Fortunately I have three kinds of both flour and sugar, and I only ran out of two kinds of flour and one kind of sugar, but that is not a common occurrence for this girl. Fortunately I had enough leftover pie to take care of the Sunday sugar fix.
Also, scarlet and black to church today! Texas Tech has now won four games. I'm not going to tell you the other half of our record.
But seriously, the sex talk. Next time I'm just going to say "Sometimes commandments don't always make sense." Because there's no good way to say that I'm not ashamed of being a virgin, but it's not my favorite topic in the world, y'know?