Monday, February 17, 2014

Every kiss begins with garlic

I missed Valentine's Day.

Now, I didn't actually miss it; I both remembered it and noted it, and now that it is past I don't feel any grief because it's gone, so I don't miss it in that sense either. But I did miss what is a glorious opportunity to be sarcastic about Valentine's Day on my blog.

Tomorrow night is Relief Society activity night in my ward. I already had a flier and I can't go because of work, but when I discovered they had chocolates taped to them, I quickly repented. The above was my fortune. 

My first crush? I am two weeks shy of 32. I first figured out that boys were attractive when I was about 5 and my best friend, who was a boy, came over with his family to go Christmas caroling and I kissed him under the mistletoe. I once got to be stage-married to this guy in our fifth-grade class production and then we met up at a church Halloween party and it was like being on a date for 10-year-olds. (It may have been one of my more successful nights with someone from the opposite sex.) I once lip-synced NSYNC's "God Must Have Spent a Little More Time On You" to the poster of Prince William on my wall. And just to drive home what we're dealing with here in the way of remembering my first crush, I've picked out a few of my favorite boy-themed excerpts from my 1996 journal pages. *Words in red are editorial comments by 32-year-old Heidi.

  • "Also, Roswell has next to no cute guys. Please don't think I'm boy crazy, but I'm entitled to my opinion." This was followed by a list of cute guys. I think maybe I was boy crazy.
  • "He has a dark complexion, brown hair, gorgeous brown eyes, a great smile and personality." Said of a crush. He did have brown hair. He did not have a great personality.
  • "He is cute! He plays sweeper on the Sierra soccer team, I at least had good taste in one aspect. refs soccer, has the cutest red hair I've ever seen, This was before I saw "Brave" or met Fred Weasley, this charming smile and a very charming manner." He was 14. Charming did not describe any aspect of this boy. Subsequent years proved he was not even a particularly nice person.
  • "I also really like Matt ******. I have been dreaming about him all day." 14-year-old Heidi needed a hobby.
However, I am pleased to announce that I do in fact remember my first crush, who actually got a mention in one of the journal pages I perused looking for the above gems. (I'm not holding back, it just wasn't juicy enough to share.) I was about 8 and I liked this boy from the other ward. My best friend had a crush on this guy's friend. One time in church, before sacrament meeting began, us girls were sitting next to each other in about the middle of a pew, and the boys started walking in our direction, with the boy we each liked headed for us! So we switched places -- and they switched places so they were still headed for us! It was magical! *Several weeks ago I read an article about how many of our memories didn't actually happen, but they're implanted via all sorts of means that probably include alien probes. I'm guessing, 24 years later, this memory is one of those. Regardless, I had a crush on this guy.

Well, now that we've got that out of the way, let's move on to more important things -- food! I've been planning to blog about food for about six weeks now because we kept eating really good food. Over Martin Luther King Day weekend my brother and his girlfriend came down and we grilled pizza, then Sam came down and we made lemon strawberry poppy seed pancakes, then Mom and I made Superbowl Sunday fresh coconut cake (and ate half of it one night; yeah, I'm owning that). And one day, when I have a little more time, I will tell you about the day I made honey butter cookies and burned the back of my throat because I was eating them so quickly, even though baking the dough made me sad inside because the dough was so honeylicious.

That's what she said.

But then something happened that changed my life: I met this guy.

Not my mom. She's not a guy.
Look at that pizza! It's from West Crust Artisan Pizza, which according to the Food Network is the best pizza place in Texas. I agree. (To be fair, I have not eaten at probably 99.9 percent of the pizza places in Texas. However, it is the best pizza place at which I have eaten in Texas.) There is no meat on that pizza, and you sort of get the feeling as you're eating it that had it had meat, everything would have been ruined.

Spinach, artichoke, bread, Parmesan, awesome 
I love food. That's all.

Well, not totally all. This blog post, while it will no doubt be hailed as a literary masterpiece that will change people's lives, was a distraction from the post that I will write tomorrow (tomorrow being a fluid time period meaning "sometime after right now"). The world is messed up. We have got to change things. 

And I think we should start with good food. 

1 comment:

  1. This post made me feel better about the fact that I have a journal entry about how I'll never let go of Leonardo DiCaprio's character from Titanic. We should all just let him go :)