Thursday, August 30, 2012

Identity theft

I tried to put a story on the front page of tomorrow's paper that detailed the TV-watching habits of liberals vs. conservatives.

You can read it here (not in our paper, sadly; I lost that argument to the RNC starring Clint Eastwood). The gist is that conservatives tend to like college football, Kathie Lee and Hoda and "Antiques Roadshow." Liberals like "The Daily Show."

I had two dichotomous reactions when I heard this. First, absolutely I love Jon Stewart! He's totally on my top 5 hottest libs list. Second, college football! Liberals don't watch college football? How do I overcome the fact that the ESPN-Jon Stewart watching ratio is about 20-1, and that's with football only being on one-third of the year. Am I *gasp* actually a conservative in liberal's all-natural hemp clothing?

It's very distressing. I feel like my whole identity is now up for debate. College football should be a uniting force, one that brings people of all walks of life together to chant epithets against the refs and those other guys. It is a society that celebrates what we have in common — painted chests, general unruliness, your mama jokes — and ignores politics because we are arguing about something far, far more important — who hates the BCS the most? Are you telling me that liberals shun this wholesome, welcoming, all-American activity? I can clearly not be a member of this political organization.

But — there's Jon Stewart. Jon Stewart, whose funny I want to channel. Jon Stewart, the man who can make me laugh until I cry while I'm at work on my headphones and getting funny looks from the people around me and I don't care. Jon Stewart, who can use comedy to inform better than anyone else can use information to inform. I simply cannot condone any group of people that does not enjoy a good dose of "The Daily Show," well, as often as possible.

What does this mean? Am I a liberal with a redneck streak? Am I a conservative who's just really, really good at laughing at myself? Do I have a little person inside my head who just makes my decisions by throwing darts and laughing maniacally at how perpetually confused I am?

I have no answer. I think I'm just going to turn on football and watch "The Daily Show" online.

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