Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Thinking: a lost art

Do you know what the Founding Fathers left out of the Constitution?

A federal holiday exception for private property rights, that's right.

I read a letter to the editor written by a woman who attended a big local event on July 4, which is, you know, a national holiday. She parked on private property, along with other cars! (Exclamation marks borrowed from her letter. You all know how I feel about exclamation marks.) She, along with all the other drivers, saw and chose to ignore the sign that said no event parking! It is, after all, a holiday, which Webster defined as "a day in which laws and rules do not apply, so have at it, baby!" (That exclamation mark was mine.)

Anyway, it turns out that the property owners had an updated version of the dictionary, one that does not require them to cede their rights to partygoers, and all of the cars were towed! Which is expensive!

But wait, there's more. The offended parker thinks she should get her money back!

Oh. My. Gosh.

It's not like this was a sneak towing job, where the "no parking" sign hides behind a tree and jumps out as soon as ignorant drivers walk away, or a vacant lot that seems ignored right up until the owner calls the tow company. There was a sign — a very specific sign that said people cannot park there for events. She parked there for an event. That sign practically had her name on it.

But I think maybe I could be on board for getting your money back for willfully being stupid. If that were how things worked, I would have a legitimate case against Summit Entertainment for "New Moon: If Twilight Did Not Kill All Your Brain Cells."

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