This is my own fault.
On Sunday, after I told Philadelphia I was getting off the phone, he asked if he should call again. Because I am an idiot, I said that as long as he wanted to get to know me instead of tell me about myself, that was fine. I also figured that surely the conversation was as uncomfortable for him as it was for me.
Silly Heidi. He called 19 hours later.
Tonight I actually answered. I told you, I'm an idiot. But I kind of feel like I should be straight with people instead of ignoring their phone calls until they get the message. The trick is to be straight before the phone call parade.
But for 20 minutes, we talked. Or should I say, he talked. He started out with telling me he wanted to Skype and he liked looking at his own face. Why was that not a red flag? Then we started discussing gay marriage, since President Obama today said he was in favor of legalizing it. I told him I did not support gay marriage but neither was I against it; he pushed for a more solid answer, I declined.
Then I told him this: I don't know.
In his defense, I'm pretty sure those were foreign words to him. He's certainly never used them.
I gave him my reasoning, the condensed version being: I do not actually see a problem with gay marriage, but the church and its prophet, who I sustain with all my heart, does see a problem. I can't ignore that. Hence my original answer.
I will say that it's refreshing to be ridiculed for being too conservative. It's been a long time since that was the case.
He then proceeded to lecture me on interracial marriage and birth control and how the church used to say those things were evil and does God change his mind? I got sarcastic here, I have to say it. I don't even feel bad about it. Then he asked if I knew that the church agreed with civil unions. (I should note that he'd also asked if I knew that President Obama had made a statement on gay marriage. Who asks if a professional news junkie is aware of the biggest news story of the week?)
The lecturing continued. Some of his points were valid and I didn't have answers for everything; of course, I said from the start that I didn't have answers for everything. And he's a freaking academic! They don't have answers for anything! It's all guesses and theorems and positing.
Anyway, then I said I was hanging up because this wasn't fun. He said, "Why? Because I'm talking about gay marriage?" I said, "No, because you're really condescending." He called me arrogant. I suggested that was just one more reason why this was a terrible idea. He said if I wanted to be irrational and absurd, that was my choice. (Again, to be fair, I did start the adjective-hurling, unless you count him calling me wishy-washy. Maybe I had this coming.) Then he repeated it a few times in the few seconds it took for me to say good night and hang up the phone.
The last thing I heard him say was, "go ahead, like the absurd woman you are."
You're not liberal and enlightened, Philadelphia-that's-actually-Delaware. You're a jackass.
OK. I'm no longer shaking with rage. New rule: I don't care if I hurt people's feelings and they don't think I've given them a chance. The second I know that I'm not interested, I'm out. They can all go talk to their mirrors.