Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here

Last night I had an online conversation that made me want to write off men.

Essentially, the guy's point was this:
"I've had some bad relationships before, and I've responded to those disappointments by becoming a douchebag and decided that since I've been screwed, it's totally OK to just screw every woman I can and blame it on the fact that I'm a 'typical guy.'"

I had a smart and blistering blog written, but I didn't post it because I wanted time to hone it — and by that I mean stew and get even more angry about what a complete jerk this guy was and that he thought it was OK to blame his bad behavior on hormones and women. It was angry and eloquent and would have made you (if you are my mom) cry, and I was all ready to post it.

Then I got a call from a coworker and she mentioned how much she loved my blog and how it made her laugh, and all the anger evaporated. I just can't be made about the things that make me funny.

However, I think D.B. raised some excellent questions, such as:
  1. Do women actually want bad boys instead of good ones?
  2. Does he consider himself one of the good ones?
  3. How long is a reasonable amount of time to converse with a stranger before sex is somehow introduced into the conversation?
  4. Are my standards too high?
  5. Do the creators of online dating sites have an annual symposium where they get together, roll around in their money and laugh at all of us who have been sucked in?
  6. Should I file an ethics complaint against my therapist for telling me online dating was a good idea?
  7. What does honesty actually mean in a relationship?
  8. At what point do I look at the cost-benefit analysis and realize that no matter how hard I try in my dating life, I get the exact same result? Really, it's been a terrible investment. I spend time, I spend money, I spend precious drops of sanity — and all for nothing. I put less effort into the ACT in high school and got the highest score my school may have ever seen up to that point. The reasonable, rational thing to do here is just stop trying.
I may have just reached nirvana. Toth out.

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