Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Now you listen to me

When I was in college, I wrote a column attempting to explain to readers newspaper terminology: you don't order a story like it's a pizza, everything is not an article and the opinions page is titled as it was for a reason.

If I remember correctly, I received a collective middle finger. Was it deserved? Probably. I've never been accused of being humble. Or having an overly high opinion of the general intellect of my surroundings. I think there's a law somewhere that says I have to be elitist. I'm just living up to it.

But sometimes you really should listen to me — like, do not mark every email as highest priority, PR guy for a Utah politician! If they're all high priority — and really, how could "So-and-so schedules meeting with What's-his-face and Who's-that-guy" be anything but highest priority — how am I going to know what's the highest of the highest priority emails?

Also, to the terrified callers from last night: you cannot be sued for slander for posting a newspaper story on Facebook. Really.

 To the people of Utah who get overexcited about bare skin — grow up. To the teens who can't follow the rules — grow up. To the Utah Countyites who call Salt Lake media instead of us — that hurts.

You know what happens when you listen to me? This! It was a year late in coming, but I finally got an apology for a traumatizing event of last year. (Warning: Guys — and Mom — and girls who embarrass easily — do not click on that link. Unless you're alone. Then read this.)

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