Thursday, November 10, 2011

Fact check on Aisle 1

I have a date tomorrow night with an online guy. He is not in his 40s, he uses correct grammar and he speaks in complete sentences. So far, so good.

The only snag thus far is that in our communication, he asked when and where he should pick me up.

Clearly he does not read the newspaper, because if he did he would know that women getting into cars or going to homes of men they meet on the Internet and have just met for real is the first sentence in far too many crime stories.

Now, I'm sure he knows he's not a serial killer, so this gentlemanly offer makes perfect sense to him. I, however, have no such knowledge.

Ergo, I offer you my checklist of what to do before I go on a date:
  1. Google him. A quick perusal shows nothing of substance. I move on with plans to return later.
  2. Look him up on Facebook. His favorite books, movies and hobbies don't include anything questionable. His pictures indicate the same guy.
  3. Do an inmate search. No arrest record.
  4. Search his name in the court system. A couple of traffic citations, neither of which would indicate psychosis or even reckless driving. His birthday matches up with the age he says he is.
  5. Search the sex offender registry. Found zero offenders.
  6. Check his school's website. His phone number, hometown and education all check out.
So, Mr. Not-a-Serial-Killer, I guess you and I have a date tomorrow.

But I'm still not letting him pick me up.

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