Thursday, July 28, 2011

People say the darnedst things

Seriously, some really funny comments. Below are just a few.

"We need to have rules, because where would we be without any rules? "
"France, that's right."
"We also need to have fun, because where would we be if we're not having fun?"
"Germany, that's right."
-- Chris, our amazing tour guide out to Stonehenge

"How to beat Usain Bolt: Start a year before him."
-- A billboard I saw in the London Underground

"This is why they guillotined Marie Antoinette."
-- Rachel, pointing to the gilted palace of Versailles

"I had a unique bathroom experience."
-- Mom, every time she went. Weird flushers, funny sinks, men in the women's room -- Europeans and their toilets

"I don't think people in Europe poop in public restrooms."
-- Me, to Rachel. There will be no more explanations.

"Female flamingos stick their head under water while mating.
We don't care how you do it. Just wear a condom."
-- Paraphrased billboard in Barking, outside of London.

"You have big feet."
-- French guy, to me, when I asked for a pair of shoes in my size. I found about six pairs of shoes that were my size in the entire city of Paris. That probably, however, kept me from coming home with a suitcase full of new shoes. I did get one.

"Bonjour." Crepemaker to me
"Deux (two)." Me to crepemaker.
Isn't that sad? Bonjour is one of the few French words I know and am comfortable using. Here's what happened. I was all jazzed up to order crepes (two chocolate, one lemon -- I don't know why. I just wanted to try it. I went back to chocolate the next time.) Anyway, so in my head I'm repeating "deux crepes chocolats, une crepe citron." So when he turns to me, I say the first thing my head presents.

"This is all for you."
-- Waiter at fancy restaurant putting a family-size bowl of chocolate mousse in front of me
"Are you serious?" Me with big eyes, with an uncertain quaver in my voice

"Why does that duke get to have his own army?" Me, to our Loch Ness/Scottish highlands tour guide about the only duke in Great Britain who can have his own army
"Because he has an awesome license." Guy from New Zealand on bus with us
Guy from New Zealand also deserves a mention. First, he was quite attractive. In the ruggedly handsome kind of way. He probably hadn't shaved that day, which explained my attraction. But anyway, I told the awesome license story to Mom and Rachel and we started quietly speculating on where he was from. Not quietly enough, however, since he then turned around and told us he was from New Zealand.

1 comment:

  1. Jennifer McIntyreAugust 1, 2011 at 6:53 PM

    I think its just gilt, not gilted and its also where Germany was unified.