Today my faith was confirmed.
My boss, who is leaving next week after a lengthy stint at the Herald, is undergoing what he termed relationship reckoning — assessing the relationships he has built here in Provo over the last several years. What he has found, somewhat to his bemusement, is it seems like people are going to miss him more than he's going to miss them.
Perhaps a better summation would be that had he known how much they valued the relationship, even though they probably didn't realize it until he was leaving, he would have valued it more.
It then inspired this really long online conversation (here at the Daily Herald, the center of communication, we do not speak to each other in person, even when the other person is four feet away from you) about how he wished he'd known this and he might have put more effort into that relationship. Read his thoughts here.
It turns out that in his mind, our relationship changed the day I left cookies on his desk. It stemmed from a previous conversation about rough days, and this particular day was one in which he worked at both of his jobs and thus was a rough day. I expected to make him a smile. What happened was this:
I was floored that day you made mint chocolate chip cookies for me. It happened to be a bad morning and the rest of my day was much better after your gift.I wonder, if I knew, on a scale of 1 to 10, how the other half of all of my relationships felt about the relationship, how that would affect things. Some I would run screaming from in commitment phobia and that would be that. Some I would be disappointed, and would probably quit trying. But I'd like to think that some I would be pleasantly surprised that they thought that highly of me and our relationship and would try harder, and others I would be willing to put a little more effort in so they know it's worth their while too.
This is awkward, but would you estimate that our relationship has grown stronger since that instance? Perhaps it would have done that anyway, given time, but there was a bit more trust, a bit more understanding, a bit more willing to share myself with you after that, I think.
So I can't point to a single action and say yes, I would have done this differently because the value of our relationship changed in my mind, but I would wager it has had an effect.
It's too late for Logan — this time, at least. Maybe there's still hope for me.