Wednesday, June 22, 2011

The art of conversation

A hint to this young man, who chatted me on the singles website last night: Trust me when I tell you your life is not interesting enough to maintain an entire conversation for longer than about 30 seconds.
The text is our 10-minute conversation, word for word; the green is my editorial commentary. I don't intend for this to come across as mean (although I didn't make too much of an effort to overnicefy it); I am, however, frustrated by this gentleman's inability to carry on a conversation that he initiated. And this isn't the first time it's happened.

Him: hello from a laid back, genuine, simple guy that would like to chat
Me: Hi! how are you?
Him: oh im good
Him: as my nick implies i definitely enjoy singing
Is it just me, or is it odd that this is how he starts out?
Me: any particular favorite songs?
Him: oh i have lots of favorites
I thought he was going to leave it at that for a minute or two. How, exactly, am I supposed to respond to that?
Him: one of those many good songs is one call When You Love A Woman by Journey
Me: oh, Journey's good.
Him: yep
Him: so is Chicago,Michael Buble,Josh Groban,and Elton John
Me: I do like Chicago
*long pause, which would have been appropriate for him to fill with a question, perhaps about my hobbies*
Me: Do you sing in any groups or anything like that?
Him: not currently i dont
Him: i was in concert choirs during elementary school and high school,and also my home ward a few times growing up,and was also in an evening institute choir
Me: that's fun. I lied. I can think of few things more painful. But then, I've never been more than a singing in my car girl myself.
*long pause, perhaps to be filled with a query about I do for fun*
Me: what do you do for work?
Him: i work 2 jobs
Him: i know thats a turnoff for some girls (honey, that ain't nothin' like your inability to carry on a conversation is a turnoff) but for right now that is what I am doing;i work one job as an office assistant/runner person,and I also work for the {} County library system
Me: do you like them both?
Him: lol well lets just say that im fairly busy during the week
Did he not understand the question?
Him: but at the same time i dont like just sitting at home on the weekends;id rather be hanging out with a girl
*long, awkward pause -- is that a hint of some kind? Does he think suggesting hanging out with a girl will make me want to hang out with him? Because it doesn't. It's like the uncomfortable icing on the you-are-boring cake.
Me: are you originally from around here?
Hey, at least it wasn't the weather. Though that might have come if I hadn't cut it off.
Him: born and raised in Utah
red flag!
Him: *tells me all the places he's lived in Utah*
You know, this is why I'm so closed off. It's not because I don't want to talk about myself. It's because I don't generally volunteer information, and many people are easily sidetracked by themselves.


  1. I love you. Which is why I get to say this. You have to be better at selling the product! (You are the product. Just in case that wasn't clear :) You're amazing, and interesting, and do fun things that people would love to hear about. Sell the product, sister!

  2. Wow. It is just so shocking he is single...

    I'm guessing he is in his early 30s and he is still working two dead-end jobs to pay the bills and he likes chatting with girls online because he just wants to hang out and not date? And when he says he wants to hang out, he really just wants someone to talk about him, to him.

    Like I said, he sounds like a real catch...