Monday, May 16, 2011

If you functioned like Congress

You would have an arbitrary limit on your credit card based solely on what you wanted it to be.

You could raise that limit any time you darn well pleased.

You could spend indiscriminately, whether or not the money was there or even was coming, because you "needed" whatever you bought.

You could get paid to not make one single decision or make any progress.

Actually, you could hinder progress, call it work and get paid.

You could give yourself a raise.

You could tell your doctor how much you're going to pay him and then tell him he has to treat you no matter what.

You could demand your adult children give you whatever information you wanted. If they don't hand it over, you could wiretap them or track them.

You could blame everything on your spouse, but watch out, because he's blaming everything on you.

If that doesn't work, you can blame it on your neighbor.

You could decide what's right and what's wrong. And change your mind, then change it back again, then demand that everybody keep up.

You could throw a tantrum when you disagree with someone, then, when someone disagrees with you, explain that they don't understand what you're trying to do.

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