Tuesday, February 15, 2011

For uterus-havers' eyes only

So, there's been a crisis of tampic proportions. I don't know how many of you lovely ladies are aware of the Tampocalypse, but it has ruined my last three cycles. Completely ruined. Not that they were just a barrel of fun to begin with, but the only period issue worse than a period is when you have a meltdown because the stupid applicators on the tampons are in fact smarter than you.
This is the unfortunate position in which I have found myself. The first time I used an applicator tampon, at age 14, I realized I hated them. I discovered ob, the applicator-free tampon that has the added benefits of being smaller and thus less noticeable and being slightly better for the environment. (Which is totally what I'm concerned about when a giant fist is clenched around my uterus, alternately squeezing and laughing maniacally.) But really, I love these tampons.
(For those of you who are are cringing because not having an applicator seems gross, let's just be real here: Tampons are gross. There's no way to make menstruation not gross, but there are ways to make it more bearable.)
Well, a couple of months ago I went to the store and discovered they didn't have ob. I was kind of in a crunch, so I grabbed the stupid applicator ones and left. I occasionally checked other stores as I shopped, however, and noticed a disturbing lack of ob. Either they'd suddenly gotten very popular, or something was wrong with the supply.
This was a crisis. See, I really am not smarter than applicator tampons. I just can't do it. (I mean, I can, but it's a challenge every time.) I won't divulge all the details, but just take my word for it: It's challenging.
So today I'm in this random grocery store that I never go into. I'm in the habit of veering by this section now, so I did, and got ready for my second habit: being disappointed. Well, guess what? Buy Low came through. I actually giggled with glee when I discovered there was one more box of the type of ob tampons that I always buy. I grabbed it. And then, after a minute of debating, grabbed the rest of the boxes too.
That's right. $30 worth of tampons. Best. Investment. EVER.


  1. That's kind of a funny story it reminds me of Zombieland and how one Character is looking for the last twinkie on earth.

  2. This reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where all the women want the sponge birth control, but it's going out of stock.

    I don't have trouble with the applicators. I get the Playtex ones and they're smooth and work great. It was confusing the first time, but not after that. How does it give you trouble? Just curious!

  3. Hahaah. The captcha for my comment to this post was "nomen", which I found fitting.

  4. Although I haven't done it with tampons, I do admit to buying large quantities of stuff when it seems to be disappearing and I find it somewhere. Also, try the plastic applicators instead of the cardboard ones Mom always bought us. Jen