Tuesday, February 15, 2011

For uterus-havers' eyes only

So, there's been a crisis of tampic proportions. I don't know how many of you lovely ladies are aware of the Tampocalypse, but it has ruined my last three cycles. Completely ruined. Not that they were just a barrel of fun to begin with, but the only period issue worse than a period is when you have a meltdown because the stupid applicators on the tampons are in fact smarter than you.
This is the unfortunate position in which I have found myself. The first time I used an applicator tampon, at age 14, I realized I hated them. I discovered ob, the applicator-free tampon that has the added benefits of being smaller and thus less noticeable and being slightly better for the environment. (Which is totally what I'm concerned about when a giant fist is clenched around my uterus, alternately squeezing and laughing maniacally.) But really, I love these tampons.
(For those of you who are are cringing because not having an applicator seems gross, let's just be real here: Tampons are gross. There's no way to make menstruation not gross, but there are ways to make it more bearable.)
Well, a couple of months ago I went to the store and discovered they didn't have ob. I was kind of in a crunch, so I grabbed the stupid applicator ones and left. I occasionally checked other stores as I shopped, however, and noticed a disturbing lack of ob. Either they'd suddenly gotten very popular, or something was wrong with the supply.
This was a crisis. See, I really am not smarter than applicator tampons. I just can't do it. (I mean, I can, but it's a challenge every time.) I won't divulge all the details, but just take my word for it: It's challenging.
So today I'm in this random grocery store that I never go into. I'm in the habit of veering by this section now, so I did, and got ready for my second habit: being disappointed. Well, guess what? Buy Low came through. I actually giggled with glee when I discovered there was one more box of the type of ob tampons that I always buy. I grabbed it. And then, after a minute of debating, grabbed the rest of the boxes too.
That's right. $30 worth of tampons. Best. Investment. EVER.

4 comments:

  1. That's kind of a funny story it reminds me of Zombieland and how one Character is looking for the last twinkie on earth.

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  2. This reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where all the women want the sponge birth control, but it's going out of stock.

    I don't have trouble with the applicators. I get the Playtex ones and they're smooth and work great. It was confusing the first time, but not after that. How does it give you trouble? Just curious!

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  3. Hahaah. The captcha for my comment to this post was "nomen", which I found fitting.

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  4. Although I haven't done it with tampons, I do admit to buying large quantities of stuff when it seems to be disappearing and I find it somewhere. Also, try the plastic applicators instead of the cardboard ones Mom always bought us. Jen

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