But sometimes I really, really am.
Just now I got off the phone with a spokeswoman for a high-up-there government official. She was useless. I could have gotten more information on what this official would do from Paul the psychic octopus. Or a Magic 8-ball. Or by flipping a coin.
So, I'm looking at the approximately 15 words this government employee who represents the man who represents me said about a major issue that will have ramifications on the state for years to come, and wondering how I can write this story fairly and accurately without saying "she snapped at the reporter" instead of the more traditional "she said." That would be fair and accurate, mind you, but not really kosher.
I mean, really, woman. Have you ever done PR before? The aforementioned Paul the psychic octopus has better dealing-with-the-media skills than you do. May I suggest that the next time a reporter calls, you remind yourself that your job description is dealing with the media -- that it's, the whole shebang, the one and only reason you were hired -- and say something with a little more substance.
Because really, the 15 words you gave me don't make you look bad, but they sure as hell make your boss look weak. And that is not something that he needs help doing.