Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Curious ... very curious

I have never been married.
I've never even been close, really, so my knowledge and ideas on the matter come from other people's marriages, on-screen relationships and online advice that I read when I need a break from the madness.
Turns out all it is is a different kind of madness.
Today I discovered this gem, labeled "Marriage is a drag." If that's not a dart through the balloon of hope carried by most single women (and most single men, at least of the LDS variety) I know, then I don't know what is.
Basically, the recently divorced woman argued, marriage became a hassle. They stayed together because it was easier, then she had an affair, so they ended things. "Working" on the marriage just wasn't a high enough priority on her to-do list.
I'm curious to know what did make that list.
Sure, I suppose marriage could definitely be a drag, particularly if it has become more work than anything else: if things aren't happening in the bedroom, if one spouse isn't pulling his or her weight, if one (or both) feels unappreciated or unloved, if the spark that used to light up the relationship fizzled, as all sparks do, but was never replaced by a real flame. Most likely if you've already hopped off the marriage train, running hard to catch up to the right car and then trying to get back on is probably quite difficult. I suppose if one views commitment as shackles, then a commitment that is going to affect every single aspect of time, ostensibly for the rest of your life or for eternity, is a thick set of iron ankle chains attached to those heavy balls that happen to have your children's names on them.
Pretty picture, ain't it?
I'm going to assume it is also possible that people learn to live with these chains, maybe even some of them happily. And, I'm going to make a real leap and guess that some people who appear shackled actually are not.
I'm also curious, when married people are being completely honest, how many of them want to jump ship. How many have thought about it once. How many think about it monthly, or weekly, or hourly. How many really think that marriage is a drag, and that's the rule, not the exception.

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