The graf I just sent my mom for this year's letter:
Heidi, after last year's holiday letter, made a New Years resolution to be less boring. Since then, she's accepted a new position at the Daily Herald, though still in Provo, as an investigative reporter and has used that position to make lifelong friends — and enemies. She spent a month watching soccer at every opportunity; sadly, both the United States and Germany bowed out of the World Cup earlier than she would have liked. She climbed an 11,000-foot mountain by the light of the moon; ironically, all the bleeding happened after the sun was up. She went skydiving, started playing the drums and came in fourth in her office college football season pick'em contest.
It's much better than last year.