No, really, it's true, according to two BYU professors. I wrote this story last week; the entire 20-minute interview with Timothy Smith I felt like we were talking about me. The point of their study was that not having relationships full of trust and mutual interdependence can actually contribute to your physical demise through things like lack of sleep, high blood pressure, poor habits and presumably having a dead soul.
I could have been looking in the mirror.
I'm realizing that I need people more than I've ever thought, even though I will never confess to individuals that I need them. See, two months ago I was supposed to quit my job and lock myself in my room and make my solo business work.
Can I just say that that I'm pretty sure that would have killed me? I know that now. I never would have guessed it before.
I really do need people, but I only figure that out when I don't have people around. Like right now. One of my closest friends is "traveling internationally," her automatic response e-mail always tells me, and the other closest friend keeps trying to dump me. My sisters have things going on in their own lives and don't need my issues, and besides, I'm supposed to be the strong and together one. I feel way ridiculous getting all emotional on the people around whom I'm never emotional. Dating is not happening, so I have no outlet there. My mom might still be high from her "colonoscopy" yesterday.
Which is why I blog. It may not be healthy, it may not be helpful. But in my sick, twisted, don't-want-to-bother-anyone-ever mind, this is my sad little substitute.
Fortunately, I do have some great sources. Maybe I should unload on one of them sometime; heaven knows they do it to me on a regular basis. :)